refer to [link] for further explanation


i have come to the conclusion that i dont allow myself to be happy, 2 days ago i went to a birthday party, it was the birthday of the brother of a girlfriend of mine, girlfriend as in friend not as couple, i was "trying to dance", but for some reason i get ashamed when i try to dance, and for that i get all stiff like, point is that i think stuff too much, and i always want to be on control, i dont let go, not even when im chilling with friends

i must probably have some major malfunction or something, what is wrong with me, why i cant let go of myself ?

i couldnt even watch her in the eyes a few times, not because we were talking about something serious, but i just couldnt stand her gaze looking through me like it was nothing, and its not just her, it happens to me with a lot of ppl, for some reason i cant make eye contact sometimes, like if there were something wrong with me

fuck me